True confession: I have never played any of the GTA franchise of games. I'm a text game baby, and I don't really care a whole lot for graphical games. Not to mention, the game premise just never really appealed to me. But you can't live in a house with teenage boys without hearing a lot about GTA and all of its little hidden side games, so I DO know about the Hot Coffee version of GTA. So when I read about Hot Coffee: The Game on The Verge, I had to check it out. You'll want to check it out, too.
Seriously. There is nothing cutting edge about Hot Coffee: The Game as envisioned by Dr. Pippin Barr. The graphics are strictly old school -- they resemble something I might have created on my Atari computer back in 1984 when I was using peek and poke to create pixelated hearts and flowers. And you won't be doing any complicated flip-kick maneuvers or dancing your fingers over the keyboard to line up targets and gun sights. You will have to accomplish a few simple tasks while boiling water to the perfect temperature, grinding coffee just right and holding back till just the right moment to plunge, plunge, plunge, plunge your French press. Along the way, you'll get sudden double-entendres that tell you your girl likes it really hot or really strong and warning you to hold back until just the right moment...
It's silly, it's ridiculous and it's curiously engaging. So far, I've managed to two "solidly average" cups of coffee. Pfft to that! I'm going back to try for a better cup of coffee. Right after I finish my morning cup -- Southpaw Espresso made, as usual, in a moka pot and topped with the perfect froth of steamed milk. Challenge, guys -- can you make a better cup of coffee than me?
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